Love Yourself

The following text is an extract from the book “Faith for Justice”. The author is Carlos G. Vallés, a Jesuit priest, father Anthony de Mello’s disciple. Not all of us have such deep religious vocation. Nor we necessarily share the same beliefs. But this story may be useful for us all: just when we are overwhelmed by problems, is then we face a great opportunity to understand, distinguish, remember that we are part of a Highest Power to which we can always turn…

The elephant and the crocodile

One of my friends explained his personal story, or could have been only a parable. Once, he said, I was sitting in the train cabin, and a little boy by mi side began asking questions as children usually do. He inquired: “When does the train will start”? Then I seriously answered: “The train will start going when we push it”. The child opened his eyes wide: “Really?”, “Really”, I replied. “If we do not push, it wouldn’t start?”; “It cannot start the engine. Once it does, goes on by itself, but we have to push it for so”, I said.“Let’s push then”. “Immediately; just wait until all passengers are on. I’ll tell you when”. I checked at the station’s clock to verify the right time, I saw the red light changing into the yellow one, heard the whistle from the chief of the station and shouted towards the boy: “Now!, Push with your best effort!” And both started pushing as much as we could against the panel facing the engine. The child pushed more and more, until his lips began smiling shinning his face completely. The train was moving! Slowly at first, then little by little faster, and at full speed at the end. The boy was delighted. Traveling on a train that himself helped to move. He couldn’t be less than feeling satisfied. Confessing him it was a steam machine would have meant to spoil the fun. Anyway he will have more than enough time along his life to find it out by himself.

It’s good for the man, it’s the natural course of events, it’s a providential step for his own spiritual development starting life with fresh enthusiasm, believing himself a hero, thinking the train starts because of he’s pushing it. That will make him take control and work and do his best, for what he is in full possession of his mental faculties. This is very significant to start going on the right way. Tragedy appears when such attitude, which only represents a basic mistake in his spiritual life, goes on and lasts all his life, and the old man still pushes trains like a child. The one who begins with the pray, tries to reach its personal holiness like a hard worker student prepares an exam to get good scores. It’s good as a starting, but the risk is this attitude of “spiritual executive” may become into a habit during long life and cause much harm. Such attitude is only good for the first launching; but, if it’s continuously followed, in a short time it’ll cause anxiety, frustration and despair, with the permanent temptation of throwing everything away, as, for much effort he makes, he´s unable to get anything. Trains do not move when we push them.

I’d like to summarize the practical attitude such as I understand it. First, make a great effort with all of your heart, without forgetting God, of course, but as if you’ll get perfection by yourself, and go on believing it for a long time as it usually happens. Then, and this “then” may last for years, stop for a while, look back, evaluate your experiences, be honest with yourself and admit to your consciousness you are getting to nowhere, that perfection is farther than when you started, that you aren’t saint neither meant to be, that you pray worse than at the beginning and have more amusements and temptations than ever; and return to God and admit that just under his compassion and grace you may get help to go forward and conquer. If you do not deal with all what you have on your hand and fail, you’ll never become a truly humble human being, because he´ll be whispering that if you had tried it hard, you could have got it. Make as much as you can, feel satisfaction you haven’t turned down anything, let you feel the triviality of your efforts by themselves in full, admit defeat, and turn to God, surrender to him and open your life wide to the action of his grace. Faith will make your efforts fertile, and your life will bear fruit. You’ll be in good hands.

The following is a story from Indian mythology. Gajendra, the elephant of Indra god had gone to soak in the river. The elephant is the symbol of strength and power, of self-sufficiency when it’s about pushing or pulling or fighting or making their own way through wherever. It doesn’t need the help of anyone to control the forest and live its own life. But, this time Gajendra was in trouble. A crocodile from the river had come quietly closer, caught one of its forelegs within its jaws and was pulling it towards the running deep water. The elephant withstood, but without success. Water was not its element, its legs slipped on the mud, and pain caused by the crocodile teeth made it blind and furious. Gajendra pulled with all of its heart, it wanted to save its life, prestige, the position of being the strongest in the forest. It would do once again as it had done always; it was only a matter of bringing together all its strength and free once and for all. It tried. And lost more ground. Understanding that it would disappear under water soon and there would not leave even a track, it changed plans. It remembered God and prayed, even the elephants can pray in legends to give example to man: “I can’t be saved by myself. I sink! Save me!” At that right time Visnu god, flying on eagle Garuda, saved Gajendra from the crocodile teeth and its own pride. Divine help appeared when the strongest creature on the earth admitted it couldn’t stand it any longer.

Parable of faith and grace. God is present when man admits his own limitation. When we keep our pride behind we are open to faith. There is when the best stage of life begins.

Carlos G. Vallés

Illustrations by Josephine Wall